Part 5

“He’s a smart man,” they said.

“Do you think so?”

“Of course. He is honest. That matters.”

“Honest – such as he may be – and smart, are very different things.”

“No. They are not.”

“He’s disrespecting you by admitting not to care about you. How is it you respect him for it?”

“Because he’s honest. I don’t like people. I tell them I don’t like them. They take it.”

“That’s a boy’s answer. A boy who does not ponder consequences.” Lee smiled.

“I’m not a boy. I’m trans. I have a female mind. You old people always make that mistake.”

“I see. How do you know?”

“You just know. I read all about it.”

“In medical journals?”

“You really are old,” boy smirked. “No. Online – social posts, blogs, articles. I’m a female mind in a male body. This body tortures me. I finally told my parents, and they lost their mind. ‘You need help; you are wrong,’ they shouted, and now I’m here.”

“How old are you?”

“Here we go again with you. Same as the psychiatrists: “It’s likely a developmental phase. We need to confirm who you are…” Blah, blah, blah.”

“So, you prefer internet opinion to doctors’?”

“No. I just know.”

“So why don’t you give the doctors a chance? What if they are right? All you lose is a bit of time.”

“Because they are wrong.”

“How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

“Have you ever had a girlfriend?”

“What? No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m trans.”

“Boyfriend then?”

“No.”

“Is that why that?” Lee’s eyes pointed to Andy’s bandaged wrists.

“No. I told you – I have told my parents, and they lost their mind. That’s why. I can’t talk to anybody about it.” Their eyes rolled toward the window and the steeple in the distance.

“Well, I think maybe you need to talk it out some more before you make any life-altering decisions. Talking is how things come out.”

“Nobody asked.”

“What’s your name?”

“Andy.”

“Hi Andy. I’m Lee.” Lee stood up and extended his hand.

“Hi.” Andy shook Lee’s hand with the surprise of someone who doesn’t interact with people in person often. They studied Lee as he sat back on his bed.

“Why are you here? You don’t seem nuts.”

“Are you nuts?”

“Nuts enough.” Andy raised their arms palms forward. Their sleeves slipped, revealing white bandages stained with black blood.

“My wife died. I figured this was the right thing to do.”

“Why?”

“Well, we didn’t really have a family – not anymore. We lived by ourselves and didn’t have many people in our life, so now we don’t have anyone in our death.”

“Can I have a cigarette?”

“Sure.” Lee passed them a pack. Andy put one in their mouth only to realize there was no lighter.

“You have a flame?”

“No,” said Lee, pointing to the No Smoking sign on the wall. “But it’s the Free Time Period now, so we should be able to get out.”

***

“Hey, Sam.” Lee raised the pack of cigarettes against the window of the nurse’s station.

“He’s been here less than twenty-four hours. I can’t let him out.” Sam nodded toward Andy.

“Screw you, man,” spat Andy.

“What the hell was that?” Lee turned to Andy. “That’s not how you get people to help you. Apologize to the man.”

“No way, man.”

“Then the man can’t help you. The man is just doing his job. He didn’t make the rules. The rules are here for those who may need protection, including you. Right, Sam?”

“Right.”

“Are you a danger to yourself, Andy?” Lee turned to Andy.

“No.”

“See.” Lee turned back to Sam. “The boy’s just a dumbass. I’ll look after him.”

“What did you call me? I’m not a boy.”

“Do you want to smoke?”

“Yes.”

“Then shut it and apologize to the man.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I’m sorry, sir.” Andy’s eyes dropped to the floor.

Lee turned back to Sam. “What do you say, Sam? The boy’s just a dumbass.”

“I’m not a boy.”

“No. You are not a boy; you are a dumbass – these young people. They say they are different, but to me they are just as dumb as we were. Maybe dumber because the internet gifted them a seven-second attention span.”

“Amen,” Sam nodded.

“There is a whisky bottle in the cupboard behind you, Sam.” Lee pointed, and Sam turned. “That’s mine. You can nip at it. I’m sure you can use one after your shift.”

“Okay, Lee. The dumbass is on you,” said Sam nodding toward Andy.

“Not a dumbass.”

“Keep walking, dumbass.” Lee pushed defiant youth through the door.